Ruling on Living with a Sinful Husband

Q: I am a forty-year old woman. Three of my children died and four are alive. My problem is that for twenty years I have been married to a husband who does not offer Salah (Prayer) or observe Sawm (Fast) and above all drinks Khamr (intoxicant). Every time I ask him to divorce me, he promises to repent of his sins. As I complain to people, they tell me to endure patiently for the sake of my children. I have endured troubles all these years for their sake. Now they are old enough to depend on themselves. They ask me to get divorce from their father and say that the house is theirs. Would I be sinful if my children or I stay with him?

May Allah benefit us and you! 

A: Undoubtedly, abandonment of Salah constitutes an act of Kufr (disbelief). Similarly, abandoning Sawm and drinking Khamr are major sins. This husband is both a Kafir (disbeliever) and Fasiq (someone flagrantly violating Islamic law). However, the greatest of his sins is abandonment of Salah. It was authentically reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: 

"That which differentiates us from them (i.e. Disbelievers and hypocrites) is our performance of Salah. Anyone who abandons it becomes a Kafir."

He (peace be upon him) also said: 

"What makes one a Kafir and a Mushrik (one who associates others with Allah in His Divinity or worship) is abandoning Salah."

These two authentic Hadith are indicative of the fact that this husband has committed major Kufr.

Some scholars have held the view that one commits major Kufr if they deny the obligation of Salah. If one does not deny its obligation, yet abandons it out of laziness, they commit minor Kufr.

Other scholars have held the view that it is major Kufr even if one does not deny the obligation of Salah. This view is the most correct. Therefore, you are advised not to allow him to be intimate with you until he repents of his sins and begins to observe Salah regularly.

The children are related to him by means of doubtful marriage. You may stay at home with your grown-up children, but you should not allow him to fondle or have sexual relations with you until he repents of his sins and gives up his evil habits, especially abandonment of Salah. Once he turns to Allah in repentance and starts to observe Salah, there is no wrong if you resume your normal relations with him. He must also repent of the sin of abstaining from observing Sawm and indulging in drinking Khamr. His children are advised to help and advise him. They may seek the help of their good relatives, who may prove to be a source of guidance to him. Children advising and instructing their father to do good is part of being dutiful to him. I hope he will pay heed to my advice. You may even record these words and read them to him. We ask Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) to guide him.

In brief, you are advised to keep away from him and not to give him the chance to have intimate relations with you until he repents of the sin of neglecting Salah, in which case it will be lawful for you to resume relations with him. As for abstaining from observing Sawm and indulging in the prohibited habit of Khamr drinking, they are counted among the grave sins, yet they do not render marriage null and void. This is the view held by Ahl-ul-Sunnah wal-Jama`ah (adherents to the Sunnah and the Muslim mainstream). You should seek the help of your children, the husband's relatives, and righteous neighbors in advising your husband. He must fear Allah and hasten to perform Tawbah (repentance) before death overtakes him. Khamr drinking leads to great harm and evil. It was authentically reported that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) cursed Khamr, the one who drinks it, the one who serves it, the one who squeezes it (the grapes, etc), the one for whom it is squeezed, the one who carries it, the one to whom it is carried, the one who sells it, the one who buys it and the one who lives off its profits.

 May Allah protect us! It was also authentically reported that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: 

"When a person commits Zina (sexual intercourse outside marriage), they do not commit it while they are believers; and when a person drinks Khamr, they do not drink it while they are believers."

This is indicative of weakness or lack of faith. We ask Allah to protect us from this. The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said:

"Verily, Allah has promised whoever dies while having drunk Khamr (during their lifetime) to make their drink Tinat al-Khabal. They said: O Allah's Messenger! What is Tinat al-Khabal? He said: It is the discharge of the denizens of the Fire or the sweat of the denizens of the Fire."

Not observing Sawm in Ramadan is a grave sin. This is because Sawm is one of the pillars of Islam. Some scholars have held the view that one who intentionally abandons Sawm is considered a Kafir. He must perform Tawbah to Allah and start observing Sawm and Salah. Allah accepts the repentance of those who turn to Him.

We ask Allah to guide us, him, and all Muslims to sincere Tawbah, follow the paths of good, and to protect us from obeying Satan and evil company.

You should advise your husband to avoid evil company, which is always responsible for influencing people to be corrupt and causes him to incur Allah's Wrath. He is duty bound to avoid keeping company with evil people and to repent of the sins of abandoning Salah and Sawm and drinking Khamr. He has to hold steadfastly to the obedience of Allah and His Messenger. Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) says: 

"And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them, (till his death)."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: 

"Anyone who repents of their sins is like one who has not committed a sin."

We ask Allah to grant us, you, and all Muslims true guidance, success, and sincere Tawbah.

 Imaam Bin Baz (rahimahullah)